The big deal of small talk
To some of us, small talk is a big deal. Why is that?
The whole activity is merely aiming at opening up a conversation, not to be a full display of character. But is that the point, that in order to properly open up a conversation, you need somehow to show your true colours? Ideally, you would be entertaining, either leading up to small jokes or at least wittily leaning into them when they are served.
Whatever the case, I have learned that small talk can be made a lot easier by following a few simple rules.
First, be prepared. You are usually not in a situation where a need to small talk arises unexpetedly, and hence you can prepare a few subjects of you own before going to a cocktail party of a seminar. Or you can, to make sure you are always prepared, think of a few opening lines every morning so that if a sudden small talk situation arises, you are not coming out of the blue.
Second, stick to suitable subjects. Here the FORD rule is a good formula. Friends, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams is never a bad place to start. I recently heard a radio programme, which started off with deliberate small talk, and one of the parties (Tuomas Nevanlinna) brought up a sauna evening with his friends the evening before. A small discussion ensued, including joking about how there is nothing strange about inviting the boys for a sauna evening, while it would certainly be if you invited them for showering.
Third, if you missed number one and did not prepare and don't know what to chatter about as the FORD rule fires blanks in your mind, you could always talk about the funny FORD rule of small talk.
The whole activity is merely aiming at opening up a conversation, not to be a full display of character. But is that the point, that in order to properly open up a conversation, you need somehow to show your true colours? Ideally, you would be entertaining, either leading up to small jokes or at least wittily leaning into them when they are served.
Whatever the case, I have learned that small talk can be made a lot easier by following a few simple rules.
First, be prepared. You are usually not in a situation where a need to small talk arises unexpetedly, and hence you can prepare a few subjects of you own before going to a cocktail party of a seminar. Or you can, to make sure you are always prepared, think of a few opening lines every morning so that if a sudden small talk situation arises, you are not coming out of the blue.
Second, stick to suitable subjects. Here the FORD rule is a good formula. Friends, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams is never a bad place to start. I recently heard a radio programme, which started off with deliberate small talk, and one of the parties (Tuomas Nevanlinna) brought up a sauna evening with his friends the evening before. A small discussion ensued, including joking about how there is nothing strange about inviting the boys for a sauna evening, while it would certainly be if you invited them for showering.
Third, if you missed number one and did not prepare and don't know what to chatter about as the FORD rule fires blanks in your mind, you could always talk about the funny FORD rule of small talk.
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